Akatsuki's Daily Life
by MagicKaitou
Summary: A bunch of little stories about the Akatsuki.
1. Chapter 1

"As you all know, the Akatsukis' have not been acting evil enough- and by Akatsukis' I mean you in the base." Pein explained to the Akatsuki members. "If you do not man up and become more evil, I will have to put you out of your misery."

"It's not our fault, leader!" Said Kisame "We've just been really busy!"

"Don't lie to me, fish boy. I know that you have been slacking off," Pein replied. "I've had Deidara keep an eye on you guys with his explosive... spider... clay things." Pein explained.

Everyone glared at Deidara once their leader, Pein, hung up. "Traitor." Kisame accused.

"I knew I couldn't trust you." Itaichi said before leaving.

Hidan shook his head in disapproval. "I told you guys not to trust anyone who doesn't believe in Jashin."

"I can't believe I spent twenty five cents on a traitor!" Cried Kakuzu.

"You guys, you know it's not even considered being a 'traitor' because I was doing it for our leader." Deidara explained trying to make his teammates and old friends forgive him.

"You can call it whatever you want, it's still being a traitor." Zetsu said "But, thanks to you I have to go eat a village." With that Zetsu left to go eat some village.

Deidara sighed, now everyone would be mad at him, and also, he wouldn't get food for a while since he doesn't know how to cook. "Don't worry, Deidara-Senpai! Tobi is here to help you!" The always joyful Tobi said happily. "Since Tobi's gonna help you, does that mean Tobi's a good boy?" Questioned Tobi.

"Sure, whatever. Just make me something to eat." Deidara told Tobi and then Deidara went to go refill his hands with clay.

About thirty minutes after Deidara told Tobi to make him something Tobi came into Deidara's room with a plate. "Deidara-Senpai, Tobi made you some food!" Tobi set a plate of dangos on the desk where Deidara sat at.

"Oh... thank you, Tobi." Deidara thanked sarcastically as he looked at the food in disgust. "And what's this in it...? Hair?" Deidara asked as he picked a strand of hair out of the dangos.

"Yeah, Tobi wanted to make the dangos special, so Tobi put his hair in it." Tobi explained. At this point, Deidara got fed up with Tobi since he's so goddamn annoying and he shoved the dango, and the stick in the hole in Tobi's mask. "Ahh! Senpai, stop it! You stabbed my eyeball!"

"You don't want it in your mask?! Well then I'll take it out!" Deidara ripped the stick out and on the end of it was Tobi's eyeball. "Holy shit!" Deidara yelled in shock.

"Put it back in! Put it back in!" Tobi yelled as blood started spilling from his mask.

Deidara tried to put Tobi's eyeball back into his eye socket but couldn't really see it since he's wearing a mask. "Will you just take off your mask?! I can't see your bleeding eye socket!" Deidara asked.

"I can't let you see my face. You know I'm self conscious about my face." Tobi explained. "And now I'm even _more_ self conscious since my EYEBALL IS MISSING!"

"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to!" Deidara yelled. Since the two boys were yelling so much the other Akatsuki members came rushing in and then saw Tobi with blood gushing out of his mask and Deidara trying to shove a dango stick in Tobi's mask and they thought that Deidara was trying to Kill Tobi.

"I know Tobi's annoying, Deidara, but you don't have to kill him!" Kisame stated and pulled Deidara away from Tobi just to see that on the end of that dango stick it was Tobi's eyeball. "You ripped out his eye?!" Kisame yelled.

"It was an accident!" Deidara explained "I didn't mean to!"

"We need to put it back in!" Kisame said and then yelled "Kakuzu!"

Then Kakuzu came rushing into the room just to see Tobi's eye on a stick. "I know why you called me." Kakuzu said calmly unlike everyone else in the room. Kakuzu took Tobi and his eyeball and went into his room. Thirty minutes he came out with Tobi. "That will be two hundred dollars." Kakuzu told them and Deidara paid him.

"He took Tobi's eye!" Tobi claimed.

"He probably just gave you an eye transplant because you can't use yours anymore." Deidara explained.

~Meanwhile in Kakuzu's room~

"I'm selling an Uchiha eyeball." Kakuzu posted on the internet.

**The End.**


	2. Chapter 2

When Kisame gets bored he likes to mess with Itachi. Today, Kisame decided that he'd pull a prank on Itachi, so he tied Itachi's ankle to the bed post, then took Itachi's Sasuke plushie.

"I got your plush toy! I got your plush toy!" Kisame chanted and paraded around the room with it.

Itachi woke up instantly and went to tackle Kisame in order to get his Sasuke Plushie back, but then fell and hit his face on the ground because his ankle was tied to the bed. "Damn you Kisame! Give me that back!" Itachi demanded and tried to reach for his kunai pouch but it was just out of reach on his nightstand.

"Come and get me!" Kisame said "Oh wait you can't." Kisame started laughing.

Luckily for Itachi, someone was passing by. It was Kakuzu... unfortunately. "I'll help you, for the right coin of course." Kakuzu informed Itachi.

"I'm not paying for you to help me! We're on a team for fuck's sake!" Itachi told Kakuzu as Kisame still danced around the room with it.

"Well then, I guess you're on your own, Uchiha." Kakuzu said and walked past the room.

"Annoying... money hungry bastard..." Itachi mumbled. Again, someone passed by the door, this time it was Tobi. "Hey, Tobi, do you wanna be a good boy?" Itachi asked.

"Yeah! Of course Tobi wants to be a good boy!" Tobi stated happily.

"Then give me your kunai." Itachi demanded.

"Okay!" Tobi then ran into the opposite direction and fell down a flight of stairs.

"What the...?" Itachi started but the Kisame interrupted.

"Kakuzu gave him a glass eye." Kisame explained.

"Oh" Itachi replied. "Now do you wanna untie me?"

"No." Kisame refused.

After staying tied for about thirty minutes, he eventually got untied by Hidan since Kisame did the same thing to him the other day except with his Jashin necklace. Itachi got his Sasuke plush toy back and then went to eat breakfast, which was omelets and he would not let it be imperfect in any way, so it took him over two hours to make one omelet.

As soon as he was finished making his perfect omelet, he sat down to eat it and Kisame sat next to him. "Did you make me one?" Questioned Kisame.

Itachi glared at the fish boy. "Why would I?" Itachi asked in an angry tone. "You stole my... brother and tied my ankle to the bed. I hate you now." Itachi explained.

"You don't have to be annoying 'bout it.. it was just a joke." Kisame mumbled

"Kisame, I don't even want to be on the same team as you." Itachi said as he ate his omelet.

Kisame glared at Itachi. "Fine. Then I'll just find another Uchiha to be my teammate." Kisame said and then pulled Tobi over to him. "Tobi will be my new teammate."

"Um.. Actually Deidara-senpai is Tobi's teammate." Tobi informed Kisame. "Tobi doesn't want you as a teammate, there's something..." Tobi started

Everyone in the room started thinking. "Don't say it, Tobi. Don't say it!"

"There's something fishy about you." Tobi said and tried to hold back his laughter while everyone else groaned saying "He said it!"

Kisame glared at Tobi. "Get the fuck out." Kisame demanded and Tobi walked away sadly.

"_And so Tobi left, they may have been rude to him today, but one day... one day Tobi will get his revenge!_" Tobi thought to himself as he went to find his senpai.

"Maybe Tobi didn't want to be my teammate, but I'm sure someone will!" Kisame explained, then suddenly got a tap on his shoulder. He turned around to see Kakuzu. "I'll be your teammate." Kakuzu offered. Kisame was so happy he could kiss someone! And in fact he did. He gave Kakuzu a kiss on the cheek, and then Kakuzu punched Kisame in the face.

"BAD KISAME!" Kakuzu yelled.

Over on the other side of the table, Itachi was there with Hidan. "I guess we're teammates, then." Hidan stated.

"I guess so." Itachi replied. "Do you wanna...?"

"Want to go kill some people?!" Hidan asked excitedly.

"I was going to say go on a teammate picnic, but that's fine too." Itachi explained. Hidan and Itachi went to go kill some people.

"Kakuzu, we need to do something like that... but better." Kisame told Kakuzu. "We _need_ to make Itachi jealous."

"If you want me to assist you in making Itachi jealous, you'll have to pay me." Kakuzu explained.

Kisame gave him an annoyed look. "No wonder Hidan didn't want to be on your team."

"No wonder Itachi doesn't want to be on your team." Kakuzu repeated.

And so Kakuzu and Kisame spent the whole time that they were teammates fighting, while Hidan and Itachi killed some people. The End.

* * *

><p>Author's note: Sorry it took so long to post a new chapter. But, please still read. I'm also sorry if anything is wrong with the story, it's been awhile since I watched Naruto, so I don't remember a lot... But not to worry! I'm watching it again now!:D<p> 


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